Controller of examinations feel’s depressed after he forgets to remind faculty members to correct scripts on a Sunday

The Controller of Examinations (COE) of a private university in India felt ‘super depressed’ after he forgot to ‘ harass’ faculty members to correct scripts on a Sunday.

A faculty member this writer spoke to mentioned said that she was startled that the COE didn’t harass message her or email her to complete the evaluation. “I really thought something was wrong in this world. I kept checking my phone, thinking something was seriously off.” She said that she started feeling a bit more lighter, relaxed and less jumpy. However, she started worrying about the COE’s well being and wanted to ask him if “He was doing okay.” She then came to her senses and said “Fuck it” and went back to sleep.

On asked about his ‘forgetfulness,’ the COE replied saying that he couldn’t comprehend what’s going on with him. “I am feeling ‘super depressed’ about my forgetfulness. I promise to up my game throughout the week and keep ‘harassing’ faculty members and telling them that their entire lives need to be dedicated in service of the university.” And one more thing, ‘Jai Hind,’ he trailed off.

(Note: This is a work of satire, all of the above is ‘absolutely true’ if we are living in the matrix. Are we?)